1:08am. I just heated and consumed a vast bowl of pasta with pesto and cheese. Easy as pie, tasty and bulky. I can’t go straight to sleep though or I’ll be back at dreamwar. I’ve switched the heating off so it’ll be cooler soon and I’ve opened the bottle of port my agent sent me for press night. A digestif, a bit of cold air, and then a cup of camomile. I’ll go to bed at 2 I reckon, and the cold air always makes for less involved dreams. It’s been a full week both in life and out of it. The dreams have been a little too vigorous. In the matinee today I saw two of everyone. One company member took two shows off for Black Dog. This dark time of year, and even though the company is BRIGHT we are still raked by the claws of Skadi. It’s hard not to notice the early dark.
If you know me you will know how I sometimes just forget to eat. I had a bad patch of it just now where I had nothing but a small bowl of lentil soup in two days and didn’t notice. Often I start trembling and realise, but this time I just got on with it and took a huge cup full of vitamins at the top of the matinee on a completely empty stomach. I sang the opening song and the Mesonikticon – “That was the best entry you’ve done,” said Jox. By the time we got to Orthos I was feeling weird. Got the timing nice on it anyway, yes I know this means nothing to you. Then I went up to my dressing room and yarked an empty stomach full of pills into the sink. Not much to report really, just froth and acid. I have time in the show after Orthos so I had a shower so Lodo wasn’t puffy faced. Then I lay on the floor a bit. Some of the dressing rooms have beds. Ours doesn’t. Confound it.
It was a good matinee for me considering, but that’s my malaise – the work sits on top of everything else. I have to put it there so I do. All the rest was timing, maybe I didn’t need to be sick but I felt it brewing and made the call that it was better when I had time for a shower than when I was on stage in my gold costume. “The duke and senators of Venice greet youaaarrrrgggh”. Nobody is gonna walk barefoot to Palestine for that.
A mushroom risotto from “have you got any allergies” Carluccios (four times today I was asked, thrice by the same person). Then another show, grounded by the mushrooms. Such a warm house. They all stood up at the end. We could barely do that. We are all so tired. It was a very much needed validation.
Half one. I’m slow tonight. I’m gonna see what happens if I close my eyes and lie my head on this pillow. I barely touched the port but considering the day I’ve had there’s a reason for that. Fortnums from lovely Esta, she’s incredible, thank God for her. Self tape tomorrow for a one liner in a nice thing. Bring it. Three more weeks here and then I need to know what’s coming. eek
AlBarclay 