Punchy

It’s just midnight. Lou comes tomorrow!!! These late nights are gonna shift, as midnight feels really early still. I just had supper and I’m gonna get myself to bed.

It looks like tomorrow morning is tidyhurricane time, hopefully. I’ve been working through things but I let a lot stack up.

Glad I wrote when I did last night. Things almost took a pass that would have led to me playing Lodovico with a black eye this evening. I can’t be taking that kind of risk on this job or any job really, so it’s a person I’ll be holding at arms length from now on unless they give up booze entirely, and even then probably. The last message was still attempting to justify the behaviour. As they say though: “Not the FACE.” That rings for me in this part. “Lodovico is a proper man. A very handsome man.” A black eye, a thick lip, a broken nose? Right at the start of the run? What an incredible lack of care from someone I thought I could trust to be considerate at least that far, no matter the provocation or perception of such, to try and punch my face at the beginning of a run where I’m playing an aristocrat who speaks well… And then continuing to try to justify it the behaviour. Friends have been warning me for years. I’m slow to give up. But time is time and it seems I’ve learned something over all these years.

Graham might have got to come on as cover which would have been lovely for everyone as he’s such a delight of a man, but … reputation is a fragile thing – as the play talks about. I would never have forgiven them if that punch had connected. This is a powerful job in my life and getting myself into the way of that punch is a bad enough look for me. I trust too much and too long, it seems. But … this job is a phase shift.

Thankfully last night, which was lovely right up until just before bedtime, has actually taught me something. It takes time for things to get through my thick head. Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away.

But yeah, we are into the run now, and Lodo even notched up in status this evening. I’m exploring the ceiling of high status while still being audible. There’s a certain point where you’re so important you put no care into if you’re understood or not because you know people will be hanging on your every word. I wanna get to just before that, so the audience can hear me in the Gods.

We sang “Ae fond kiss before we sever” to the magical bundle yesterday. We were literally singing it as my punchy friend arrived in town and tried to ring me. Magic is magic and that ritual had power. We had ae fond evening, the two of us. And now we sever.