The early hours of this morning I started coughing. A tickle in my throat, just where the masseur had been working. It woke me and kept me up. Immediately the thoughts were into tomorrow and “will I lose my voice for press night?” I struggled to get back to sleep. I was up and down for ages. Thankfully no morning call.
This morning I went to Holland and Barrett and spent over fifty quid on vitamins and supplements. Fish oil for my actingbrain.. Immunity stuff, mostly though. Zinc and C and all that stuff and something made by bees which will probably help with hayfever… Vitamin D as it’s getting dark and screw you, winter. I’m gonna have a daily pill box like my dad. Fuck it. You go on the advertising for these things and every single model looks like they’re on death’s door. I’m surprised they aren’t selling pill organisers to younger people.
Then Lou helped me think about it. I had a monster of a four week cold in rehearsal. I’ve got my tonsils. I reckon a bit of something unpleasant was hanging out having a party on my tonsils and then the massage brought it to the attention of my immune system. There’s nothing now, so it’s dealt with I suspect, just in time for a Tuesday which is just the same as every other show but for the fact that clever people are gonna crystallise it in words and make it like it’s the only time it has ever happened. Oh it’s good though.
I went to a Q&A by mistake this afternoon. I just rolled in to the theatre early as is my habit, so I can make my body less stiff and my voice more free. There were chairs on the stage and Tim was mid flow, eloquent as you could ever be, talking about this process from his point of view. He is so clear. He really knows what he’s made and why. I’m really really happy to be part of it for that reason. The stalls were packed with people who look like they could be in ads for pill dispensers.
Here in Stratford, where the works of this magical brain have been charging up for hundreds of years, we are telling again a well told story. Tim has a clarity of vision that he has tried to transfer to us all. I know to trust him. I’ve seen the positive results of people trusting him just as I’ve seen the less positive results of people not trusting him. He’s a stupendously clever man who loves actors because we can bring the heart. Like many great directors, trust brings reward. There’s no ego with him, he’s just looking at the work, so you know that everything he suggests is worth pursuing as ultimately it’ll make you look better. I’ve gone with his process, I’ll still be working until the last show, I’m not here to tell myself I’ve nailed it – there will always be something to strive for. That’s life.
Bedtime now. This is an early bed and it’s still nearly one.
AlBarclay 