Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth. Apparently that’s because she “speaks from the heart”. Or perhaps because then people can project their own feelings onto the kitty. It’s not trying to be a cat. It’s a cathuman hybrid thing. It’s not trying to be just a cat, or just a human. It is what it is.
“Apparently she likes friends,” says Siwan, seriously, as we have our morning hot drink on The Kings Road. “I’m not gonna talk,” I respond, just as seriously. “I’m just gonna make cat noises”. An actor prepares.
A party for a six year old. This is the daughter of the artist friend who employs me to be a panda. I’m just moonlighting as Hello Kitty and I’ve dragged Siwan into it. It’s only a few hours, but it’s a few hours when perhaps I would much sooner be lying face down grunting into my own weekend filth.
“I can see your beard!” “You’re not a cat!”
Not as much of that as I’ve had in the past. These are decent children. Still, about 36 of them. We are all in Caroline’s art space above the Kings Road. It has been laboriously turned into a Hello Kitty palace. “Keep it like this and I’ll do my fiftieth here,” I said, but they have to break it all down this evening.
“Meow meow meow”. That’s about it. If I try sentences in an American falsetto I sound like Michael Jackson. I’m wearing a blue top hat anyway. I’m clearly a boy Hello Kitty. But no mouth technically means no voice with mask work.
The lack of a mouth is troublesome. Mouth holes are very helpful. Windows to the world. With a great big head on, you have extremely limited visibility. I could see nothing below my nose, as the gauzed eye holes are tiny. It was a very disorienting few hours, trying not to kick children and trying to add value. Weird work or not, I’ve taken it so I’ll do it well. That’s the game I always play. Siwan and I found enough to do, and we did it. The hours passed. Now I’m home and I’m going to do double the relaxing I wanted to do today. Don’t expect me to rise before noon tomorrow.
I now have a Hello Kitty birthday balloon. It will be MY birthday balloon in a few days. And I’m knackered.
AlBarclay 