Toothfile

At lunch time I went to the local dentist surgery and asked if they could fit me in to file the sharp bit that has been slashing into the root of my tongue every time I swallow. They had nobody until half three, and I was due in rehearsal at half three to be Lodovico. He speaks well, we are told. It hurt to speak well.

I’ve started chanting again because last time I spoke well I was chanting. All this stuff is linked weirdly. I’ll be driving up to Stratford and I’ve only just realised that I’ll carry my sodding butsodan up to Stratford with me, because it’s all very well mister Nichiren Buddha and whoever came after telling us that we need to be connected geographically with other people who practice… I love my “district” but I don’t feel at home when I’m at home, I’ve always been rooted nomad. The roots give an idea of something to come back to, but I’ve always felt I’d be fine rootless and trusting… Who knows, maybe I’d panic.

But yeah, with cuts all down the muscle on one side of my tongue, and my job being to speak well, something had to be done.

“Your tongue will wear down the tooth eventually,” was one of the things someone said. Thankfully my fingernail and persistence is stronger than my tongue. A washed hand at lunchtime and about an hour and a half of thoughtful filing thereafter and I’m largely out of pain. I’ll still be sleeping on my left, but thank god for that. My whole face aches, but at least in the short term I’m good to not be in pain all the time. The next week or so my tongue root will be healing, but man our mouth is a quick healer. Why can’t the rest of us be so quick? I guess our mouth and our bum are the only open sores we have left, skinless, moving towards our insides. It’s why I am thrilled to still have my tonsils. Useless? Just because nobody knows what something’s for, doesn’t mean we don’t need it. Human arrogance is much younger than evolution. 

So I’ll wash my teeth in a moment and use mouthwash, and hopefully by tomorrow it won’t hurt to speak. The fact that every sound I made today cost me in pain though – it was useful. “You’ve unlocked something in your bass,” said James, the voice guy. I was in survival mode. Better to make a good sound than to be lazy, if it hurts either way.

Two weeks to go. Joy. Ow. But I think my fingernail filing hotfix was enough for now.