Total digital detox yesterday and I didn’t really want to communicate with anyone or do very much. Just reset. I barely ate. Had a bit of tea. Wanted some booze so was examining the shape of that one while distracting myself with old editions of 2000AD. It’s good to reapproach habitual things from time to time, particularly when the external world has shifted in some way.
Long hours of sleep have left me feeling tired though. In fact I feel like I’m hungover – all the fun none of the booze. Toxins are only entertaining when they go in.
London is still deep in late summer madness. The party boats on the river are shouting their music into my windows at night, and then periodical sirens throughout the night. I’m aware of the traffic noise more than usual. I’ve been away a long time. Yesterday was really my first day off for months if you don’t count the weekend when I went to Hereford and induced long form hallucinogenic dream state in the name of healing.
It worked though, at least in the short term. Although tidying my bedroom wouldn’t go amiss. And doing some home improvements. That’s the next stage. It’s enough this weekend to break the habits.
This blog of course partly exists to make sure I don’t do too many yesterdays. Silent days of reading and then sleep and late wake was a pattern associated with depression. Brian was concerned, but I was very open about it. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.” Spent too long in sponge mode, needed to wring it out. But I’m fine. Better for it. Working through things but not in a negative way.
Still, it’s late. Gonna get a cup of tea and post this just for the shape of things, and experiment with communication again.
AlBarclay 