I’m having to choose the things I get stuck into here. It’s going to be a fantastic event but there’s some serious catch-up to do. One thing that would be really helpful would be if I had had time to scout all the venues. I also want to properly learn the warehouse stock. There’s too much to learn but I’ll do my best. I’ve been off site either making up shortfalls or helping with deliveries or teaching installs. “How do you speak French,” Kes asked me yesterday morning, and it was a question I really couldn’t answer. I have never asked that question of myself. I think a childhood in Jersey helped, perhaps. School didn’t help much though. Academic French is useless. Rupert’s french is schoolboy and it is full of vocab trip hazards, not to mention that he sounds like a Victorian gentleman. Rupert: “Excuse me, gendered human, is it possible that you might be able to help me? Myself and my friends here, we are searching for cones such as one might use to direct traffic. Is it possible you might have access to such a thing for us to purchase? We have the means and the desire.” Me: “Hi, I’m looking for traffic cones. They want loads but I’ll take whatever you’ve got. Send me where they are. Thanks.” I suspect that an almost forgotten angry fortnight working in a sawmill because my girlfriend let me down on a gitte we had booked – that fortnight helped, even if the guys I worked with weren’t all French, they also weren’t at all English so French was the language. They paid me in cash and occasionally sent me out in a team of two to cut down trees. Nothing legal there but it paid me through a summer and I have a feeling I’m winning from it now in terms of conversation. Just cos 20 year old Al had the holiday anyway and got a job and wasn’t out of pocket, I can talk to the people who are not being competent here.
“The maps that are issued to us are almost universally off” says Reece the driver and he’s not wrong. The Bob and Roadkill venue is unclear as are many others. I’ve built a relationship with the van drivers. I’m angling to get added to their WhatsApp so we can all communicate. Yesterday Ian spent an two hours looking for a stop I found in minutes. They’re brilliant lads though, and noticeably eccentric. There are some tips I’ve already been able to give them. Some aren’t used to driving long hours in unfamiliar places that are hot. Phone holder stuck onto the window will run the battery to zero in no time as your phone tries to cool down from sun. I showed Ian my basic phone holder for solo jobs like these. Sandpaper the back a bit, stick a metal plate on, clip a magnet to your fan. So long as your car has Aircon your phone will be icy cold. If it doesn’t it is still out of the sun. Sure it’s great to have a plus one, but we can’t all have luxury. So don’t cook your phone.
Today the job was a few things but it turned into cones. Mini traffic cones. A load of orders about to go out, and they were an obvious missing thing. It’s very hard to ascertain what is most pressing but I think they were part of it. I can’t spend every day finding things that ought to have been found. But I spoke to a lady in a massive chain of Leroy hardware stores, and she told me exactly which branches had them and how many they had. Then I plotted the most efficient route taking in my other jobs like an IKEA run to make sure I had enough cones for the 4 orders that were imminent. My deadlines aren’t as clear as I like them to be so I’m having to work out my own prioritisation.
“It’s so inefficient just driving around looking for cones,” says Ali, who doesn’t know I’ve already checked we couldn’t get them on Amazon prime for today or even this month – I’ve activated my Prime in France, and then persuaded the lady in the first Leroy to tell me where there was stock before I planned a route. Then I plotted a careful route, as is my job. Barely a mile wasted. As with Extreme e so with this, I’m trying to make each leg of every journey matter, and trusting that the people who look at that shit can see it.
Generally I’m happy. A good day and now I just need the darn washing machine to finish…
AlBarclay 