CRAMM

I haven’t really got space in my head to write this at the moment. Just out the bath, I’ve been running lines in my head but this is buckets of exposition and without a context to stick it to they just don’t hold well. I’m happy to learn my lines in advance when I don’t have to come up with all sorts of logic jumps to make sense of why I have connected one thought to the next or phrased something unusually. But apparently this is an existing show and the last guy couldn’t hold it in his head. I see why. But I’ve been confident with harder learns than this. Most of the corporate stuff I’ve done for The Globe has been equally as hard to learn, and I do that with the appearance of absolute confidence.

Learning comes in surges. You cram it in your head and then wait a bit while it settles. In the gap it is actually helpful to do something totally unconnected. Truth be told, it is useful to do that during as well. The one thing you don’t want to do is accidentally fall into patterns of movement or speech, like crap teachers teach schoolchildren. I find the most helpful thing is to be distracted. But maybe that’s my neurodivergence coming into play. I learn well while driving or doing the dishes. Or invigilating exams, running silent inside my head while watching the room. Things that can’t be predicted in terms of movement. Then you can test if the meaning has been learnt, or just the noise. Until you have the meaning you can always hit blanks. Once you’ve got the thought structure it is impossible to dry.

It’s harder when there’s not much intention – when the character is written to serve an idea and the thoughts are haphazard. But that’s where craft comes into it, and as I said yesterday, if you take the job you do it to the best of your ability or you’re an asshole. I learnt that the hard way doing a terrible play at The Finborough for no money and putting in minimum work. I should never have accepted it in the first place. We learn by doing but that was a messy way to learn and it did some damage.

So I’ve hit brainflood for the night. Tomorrow I’ll have to feel easy and relaxed first thing in the morning. So I’m off to bed and it is only just gone ten. Alarm is set for very early tomorrow so I can cram more with a fresh head. The context of this is that I’m playing the characters on the wrong side of the moral debate in the play, and like so many “villains” they are somewhat one-dimensional, often in scenes with people who are more rounded.

Anyway, all is well. It’s gonna be ace. They’ve already played it a few times and I get the feeling it’s a joyful show. Bedtime for me.