Funk

I’ve been in a funk today. I think I’ll pull out. It’s about admin. I’ve dropped the ball on a few things and they’ve got out of hand and I’m trying to work out how to deal with having had the book thrown at me by mail while I was in Jersey playing Scrooge and having oh such a jolly time. Now everything feels cold and hard and weird and I think I’m going to be taken to court for being awful at admin.

Tomorrow I’ll be getting stuck in properly trying to dig my way out. Even the basic task of sending invoices for expenses and work completed has been out of my reach of late… The cold doesn’t help. I also need to go outside and walk around. Work time. Ach.

Lou is sending me mad videos of Dubai where they seem to be pointedly trying to maintain the false narrative that we can defeat nature and control everything. Fountains and lights and ridiculousness. Huge buildings and so much pollution. It looks like a very odd place. I’m not sure it would be my jam over there, frankly. But more and more there’s theatre and culture being brought over. I might end up there before too long and I’m sure I’ll find things to like even though the air pollution is off the charts and nature doesn’t exist.

Early bed if I can. Snoozetime after a good read. I am already feeling a bit sick about all the things I’m going to try to work out tomorrow. I’ve never had a court summons before. Very odd.

I’m surrounded by friends at home as well. It’s not like I’m isolated. Tom is on the sofa, Brian is next door. I’m just freaking out. Things will look easier in the morning and I just need to break it down into manageable chunks.