First things first, getting on the boat. I’ve got two compressed canisters of beer from the show. They’re in the back of Bergie, along with all the random props. Jack and I will find use for the beer, so long as we can dispense it. An early summer show… Over 100 pints. It felt shameful to bin it. It can be used. Still, there’s a question of customs, and of course I got pulled over. I had dead Scrooge next to me covered in a blanket so I uncovered him as an eccentric theatrical thing to try and help with the charm. Seems he likes theatre. He clocked the kegs but didn’t remark on them. “So you’ve been making theatre on the island?” I got on board.
They finally let the boat go. “Condor are a law unto themselves,” I’ve been told. Weather stopped it for days. But… the first hop to Guernsey was a wallopimg, and I can see why they cancelled earlier sailings. Someone had propped the door open to The Club Lounge. There’s a coffee machine in there and you can see out the front. I colonised a seat looking ahead. I was too green for coffee. By the time we got to Guernsey I was sick.
All of Guernsey was waiting to get on. The boat packed out and there would be no more sneaking into club. The door got closed. I asked to pay – was happy to. The vendor told me to wait, and then had an argument with two nasty old people who had paid for club lounge and it wasn’t what they wanted. They got a cabin but not before their club passes were handed to them. I took a surreptitious photo of the pass. The door is coded. Now I had the code.
The moanies left, and by way of transferring bad energy, the French vendor snapped “There is no room in club. In anywhere.” I had the code anyway so fuck it. I thanked them and walked away. I had intended to pay, but 27 pounds is a lot of money for a seasick prevention seat so they did me a favour. I let myself in when I knew I wasn’t being watched and ended up back in my old seat. Perhaps it was cheeky of me to “forget” my denim jacket on it.
The sea was calmer in the channel thank God. I’m in Portsmouth now in a cheap room above a pub. I’m still moving from sea. Gonna turn in and then tomorrow me and dead Scrooge are going on a road trip!
AlBarclay 