I’m backstage. That fucking playlist is going round and round. The audience only have to hear it a few times while they wait. We have grown to loathe it. Jolly Christmas tunes played by cartoon pirates. I only enjoy the Coventry Carol, and that is because neither of us know the words so we improvise protomedieval devout bullshit while we put our socks on.
Blue light and I’m in my nightie and dressing gown with longjohns and slippers. I’m clutching a fake invitation from my enthusiastic nephew Fred, and five coins. Only one of them has Victoria’s head on it. The rest are later. Brad grabs them at random and as part of our preshow we guess how many monarchs he has grabbed. We have enough Victorias for it to always be them, but it’s nice guessing. I’ll be putting them into a pot in a few minutes. I’ll be ripping up the letter shortly after. Last time for me to go round the old redemptive arc for another year. It always pings on Christmas eve, as that’s when the thing is set.
I’m tired. Very tired. My voice has taken a pounding but it is still there and recovers very quickly. I’ll be able to relax running into New Year.
…
That’s the announcement. Dante our local boy making his “short and quick” announcement. Gonna have to get into place soon. Preshow: Hug Will, then stand by Brad and wait for clearance. Then over to Will, one more sweaty hug. Then page a curtain for him. Then over the other side and peek through to see who is chosen to be Jeff the Pervert Strangler this evening. Wouldn’t want to double-cast him as Ponsonby etc. Then I get to listen to the house call and response with Will and sense how drunk / shy they might or might not be. Wait for the first big laugh. Kick of adrenaline. “Keep Christmas in your way nephew and let me keep it in mine,” and then I’m on. I then sit in a chair for a while and listen to Will and the audience while my pen moves over the page. I write the most random things. Often numbers. Then the audience and Will all lift the veil and I’m in Scroogehead until the end of the night. Lots of humbuggery, some dancing, a touch of accordion and a smattering of terror. Meeting lots of people. Social awkwardness. Ebenezer. All in a good night’s work.
Aylar coming on board has raised the game. Ahh the second announcement.
Here we GO.
—
What a lovely team. We came. We saw. The audience wasn’t quite what we hoped for. Would’ve been happier with more. But we know it can sustain a big house. Bigger than we thought.
I’m so happy I’m still on board. I’ve got very very good at this particular game now. And it is a lovely game, being played by a lovely team.
At the end of the show tonight Adam the producer said a few words of thanks and then actors and audience all linked hands and sang together and it was totally magical. The show has always been about bringing people together. I love it. I love it. I love it. I’m absolutely shattered.
Tomorrow Christmas. I won’t be part of the orphans maelstrom this year though. I’ll just be with new friends, and we will all be fucked. I have no doubt I will still turn into a blini machine, and be laying out cheeses and washing up plates etc, as Christmas is joyful work. I’ll collapse thereafter.
AlBarclay 