Someone shared a Facebook memory from 13 years ago. We were at The White Bear, a pub theatre in Kennington, doing a very well turned rendition of Bloody Poetry, a classic now, by Howard Brenton, about the romantic poets. He came to a Q&A. I made good friends on that show, but the thing we remembered most after all that time was the dressing room. It led to some reminiscing about “crap dressing rooms we have been in”. Various other pub theatres were mentioned.
Now I’m sitting in this tiny pokey kitchen at The Flask, about to go be shiny. Right now I’m just coalescing though, and looking around this is not a romantic place. There’s a papier maché dead chicken, loads of folded napkins, pots and pans and crates and old bits of material. It wouldn’t have been cleaned in decades. There’s one chair, where the junior guy has to sit when he’s folding napkins. My top hat and cape are slung over an empty chest freezer.
Outside in The Flask garden a big group of screaming oafs are bellowing at one another from their collared linen shirts and immaculate hairdos. “They’d better not be coming on the walk,” I say to Siwan. I’m tired. They aren’t.
This moment is in so much of what we make, the tired actor sitting in the crap room, resting and completely unlike the thing he will be when he walks out of the room. You see it in hotels and restaurants too – we live in a dressed up world. Go round the back and you realise the extent to which everyone is selling fantasy to everyone else. I like it though, that edge.
Growing up I didn’t care much for presentation. I didn’t really see the point in presenting a front – I was a zealot and I wanted honesty. Living with actors I have learnt the power of it, in context. At The Factory we work in our own clothes, and it is good for that particular work as costume can be another substitute for truth. But tonight I will put on a tall top hat and probably a bit of a voice and a front. The hat does so much work, and I have to be able to run my benign walking dictatorship for the next few hours. Might as well use it. I tried barking for a side show in minimum costume once as they weren’t paying me enough to provide my own. I quickly discovered that my look did as much work as my gab. There was a less gabby guy better dressed who was pulling in more trade. If the restaurant looks like the kitchen, even if the food is excellent you won’t trust it so much. We’ve got used to the charade to the extent that we expect it. When I was guiding the boats I would sometimes human myself “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s my lunchtime and I’ve got a sandwich, and I barely slept last night, but it’s okay because the tide is coming in and so I’ll be guiding you on the way back up.” I learnt through TripAdvisor that you mustn’t do that. People don’t want humans in service. “The guide prioritised his sandwich over our experience,” someone would write, and I hadn’t. But people like the shine.
So I’m getting ready to be shiny again. I’m having a stealthy pint out of sight of the punters, which might take the edge off it a little bit I kinda need to be in that place tonight. Can’t let them see me do it, but it’ll set be up nicely for a cold walk. Here we go go go.