I’ve settled into this lovely big room near Hay Castle. It’s dark outside so I can’t see the lovely view that adds to the price. It doesn’t feel like anyone has ever slept here before. I booked it through Booking.com and they were surprisingly neurotic and intractable about check in times. I get breakfast tomorrow but only if I get there before nine. After a show, that’s not easy.
Man I’m hungry. Hay on Wye on a Sunday might as well be the bottom of a crevasse. I’ve been spoilt no doubt by living in London, but I was so hungry I found an all night garage and bought a pot noodle. The only other option was a curry place, and they got my back up by turning me away to only takeaway at 9.29pm even though they said they seated people until 9.30. I tried to tell them I would order immediately and eat quickly, and they weren’t empty. They were weird and dismissive enough that I wrote my first ever passive aggressive bad review on Google. They’ve got the area by the short and curlies – there’s no competition for late night grub and they know it. I could have got a takeaway but I actively didn’t want to give them my money.
So Captain donkey is in his room. He’s poured water into his noodle. He will eat.
Just three days ago I told a room full of young men and women that pot noodle is not food despite the freeze fried peas. Now I’m gonna put it in my face.
There I was, in front of an audience outside Hay Castle. “oh the delights and romance,” the audience might have thought as five hundred year old flashes of poetry eructated from my mobile lips. I was humanising this Flashman type prat in Merchant. Now I’m eating his atrocious diet.
I might just let it congeal, fall asleep, and wake up in time for breakfast. I just don’t like going to bed hungry, even if the only other option is eating plastic.
The drive down here was lovely and perfectly timed. England started playing Australia shortly after I started and it was all winding up as I arrived. I heard our cricket team try so very very hard to do the honourable thing and lose again, but somehow despite their best efforts they inadvertently won. Thankfully some of our bowlers can bat. It’s not easy supporting England in this series, as it feels like they are much much better than they have been coming across. Still, I love a long game, and this Ashes still has life in it. We could have thrown the whole thing today with two tests left. I’m glad we didn’t. It means we can all listen to them fuck it up in a week.
This noodle tastes of nothing but I’m getting stuck in. I like a good meal, as you know. I’m definitely not having one tonight. But Merchant went very well and it was so nice to see the company again, so I’ve had sustenance even if it hasn’t been literal. Apparently Merchant might crop up again sometime in October. I’m game. I’m making friends. I’ll just have to remember how most of the world is still dead on a Sunday night, and pack my stuff accordingly.
AlBarclay 