I got worried and so I took myself off to A&E in Brighton and that’s been the extent of the afternoon. Of course it’s all fine but then one test leads to another test and when she said I’d need a chest X-ray as well just to be sure I tried to object just as I knew it would take ages. “That’s expensive for you, are you sure it’s necessary?” I tried, but she insisted. Need to rule things out. I appreciate that she’s being thorough though. If this was in America l would have to sell my car. As it is I just lose an afternoon, which is shitty as it’s rare to find time to hang with Lou, but with inexplicable chest pain and general heaviness I figure it’s better bored than dead.
Lou stuck it out with me for over two hours before I found myself trying to encourage her to go home. We will go for curry once I’m out. If I’m ever out.
Good talks though. The nurse that triaged me was brilliant and full of words. I assured her that I’m no relation to Steve. For the ECG I had a St John’s Ambulance guy coming in to help make up the shortfall. They are all so understaffed overworked and underpaid. People don’t strike out of nothing. I can loudly appreciate their work but that’s just like clapping in the window, and clapping in the window butters no parsnips.
So I’ll wait and they’ll give me the all clear but now they’ll have ECG and chest x-ray on my record from a healthy time which is possibly going to be useful for possible future unhealthy states. And they took 4 ampoules of blood so they can run all sorts of tests. Busy busy busy. I feel poked and prodded but what price peace of mind, and as Lou said I’d only be worrying if I didn’t get the all clear.
Still, it’s pretty stark in here. Bright lights and squeaky doors and sick people. A prisoner handcuffed to a guard with a broken nose. Rugby players covered in mud and blood. The very old next to the bandaged young.
On the screen in here, the passage of time is marked by Mark Formanek’s excellent 24 hour artwork “Standard Time” in which a large wooden digital clock is adjusted in real time by a group of workmen in hard hats with ladders. Sometimes they barely get out of shot with some of the more awkward changes before they have to get in again. It’s all filmed in Berlin with the TV tower central to the background. It pleases me because it’s ridiculous and difficult and futile and transient. It keys into my love of things ephemeral balancing things eternal. The sun is setting now at 17:19 and these guys are gonna start getting cold and needing light.
I’m done with waiting. But I’ve got to keep waiting. Hopefully not much longer. Hopefully.
AlBarclay 